Navigating Negativity: Five Steps to Strength-Based Leadership

People don't typically don't come to me when things are going well.

This isn't a complaint. It's the reality of the life of a school administrator. We are the problem solvers, the peace keepers, the crisis responders. On any given day, I will usher crying students, angry parents and frustrated teachers across the threshold of my office. As I walk the hallways at break and lunch, I am bombarded by questions and queries, complaints and conflicts. When my email dings or my phone rings at eleven o'clock at night, it's rarely good news. 

So in the midst of what can sometimes feel like a sea of negativity, it is even more essential that I maintain a positive mindset and strength-based approach to leadership. 

I have developed the following strategies to assist me in this approach:

1. Start with relationships. Relationships form the foundation for any successful organization. Students and staff need to feel connected and cared for. As such, leaders need to take the time not only to learn the stories of those around them, but to also share their own.

2. Assume the best. Research shows that individuals will rise, or fall, based on the expectations of those around them. If we believe that students and staff can achieve great things, they will. I try to begin every conversation with a student, parent or teacher with the assumption that they want to do their best, but might need some guidance on how to make that "best" a reality. It is my job to see the potential, the capacity, for great things in every individual. 

3. Shift the focus. Education in general can be very deficit based. We tend to focus on what needs improvement rather than what is going well. As such, many conversations are focussed on identifying problems rather than finding solutions. It is important to be realistic about challenges, but it is equally important to identify and celebrate strengths. I do my best to re-frame obstacles as opportunities. I have learned to embrace challenges as an impetus for change.

4. Listen more, talk less. More often than not, individuals just need an opportunity to vent. Sometimes my most effective "problem solving" approach is to simply listen and provide a space in which they can discover their own solutions. In this way, leaders can build capacity in those around them. 

5. Keep calm. While I am sometimes the target of anger and frustration, I have learned that it is rarely about me. In my role as a school administrator, I may represent an individual's previous negative experiences rather than their current reality. I remind myself that everyone has a story, a context, and I do my best to maintain a calm and professional demeanour in the face of heightened emotions.

Today, I am a Police Officer...and Other Evidence of Success

There are many aspects of my role that I love. However, year-end as a secondary administrator means a great deal of time devoted to tasks that can take me away from time with students and staff.

In case I'm unaware of the endless hours I've spent glued to my computer working on timetabling, staffing and year end events, I am reminded by the oh so friendly "check your rings" from my Apple watch. Triggered by my uncharacteristic inertness, it alerts me that I am still able to "close my rings" if I just go for a brisk three hour walk. Unlikely.

But despite the need for me to spend a frustrating amount of time staring at a computer screen, I am still committed to devoting a good portion of my day to students. After all, that's what it's all about. Barring early morning meetings or unforeseen emergencies, I am still able to maintain my "good morning" routine of welcoming students. I am still able to make my way into a sea of students at breaks and lunch.

As I took some time at lunch today with students in our lounge area, I noticed one of the Educational Assistants holding up a chart for a student with autism. It gave him a visual reminder of what "zone" he was in. This is a student who has some severe behaviour challenges, but has made amazing progress this year.

Although this student has a very concrete representation of his ability to regulate his emotions, he's certainly not the only one who is struggling in these last few weeks of school. It's a time of anxiety and uncertainty for many: students who are worried about final marks and assessments, staff who are concerned about placements for September...

I am not immune to this whirlwind of uncertainty and unease. And so I purposively look for small examples of positivity and  success to bolster me and those around me. 

Today, I received just that from the very student that I saw today at lunch. I have seen numerous examples of his success this year. But today, he provided me with an example of my own. 

Some context...

This is a student who takes great interest in figures of authority, ranked in order of "importance" from his perspective: lifeguards, security guards, fire fighters and police officers at the top of the hierarchy. He has developed a pretty special relationship with our school RCMP liaison officer. And he provides "badges" to adults in our school community that "rank" them based on his view of them. Along with the assigning of badges, this student practices positive social interactions. And as I said, he has made incredible gains. 

For much of the year, my "rank" has been lifeguard. I knew that I had to work to build trust, to build a relationship with this student. After all, I was the "newbie". I set it as a personal goal to build trust, to move up the "ranks", and prove that I was worthy of the coveted police badge. 

Yesterday, I got fire fighter. 

And today, nine months into the school year, today I received a police badge. 

Now don't get me wrong, I may be "demoted" tomorrow, based on any number of factors. But today, I received very concrete evidence that despite being buried in tasks that don't directly seem to impact students in a meaningful way (although of course they do), I am indeed making a difference. 

And so in those moments when my owns zones of regulation may blur into something that resembles a hazy abstract piece of modern art, I will remember this day.

Today, I am a police officer. 

My police officer badge!

Weighty Expectations

It's ok to quit. It's ok to stop doing something that others have come to expect you to do. It's ok to change your mind, to have second thoughts. It's ok to say no.

I'm saying this after a week of observing largely well intentioned challenges and directives to make resolutions and set goals. In addition to these "New Year's" challenges, many individuals are already struggling under the enormous pressure of maintaining expectations that they established in previous years. The weight of others' expectations, intermixed with our own self imposed standards, can be suffocating. Debilitating even.  

We are so incredibly hard on ourselves.

I'm not suggesting that goal setting and establishing high expectations, both for ourselves and for others, is not a valuable and necessary exercise. Although I'm not a big fan of New Year's resolutions, I am a firm believer in taking on new challenges and opportunities, of finding your "edge" and pushing beyond it... But sometimes the weight of either self imposed or external expectations can make it difficult, almost impossible, to change our current trajectory, to re-evaluate, re-assess and forge a new trail. 

I see the impact of these weighty expectations not only on my family, friends and colleagues, but on the students in my school community. With anxiety and mental health issues on the rise, how are our expectations of our students' contributing to this trend? Are our students forging their own paths to success, or simply following a route that others have mapped out for them? Are they pursuing interests and passions that fulfil their purpose and goal, or are they obediently complying with others' expectations of what they should be? 

In the end, I truly believe it's about finding a balance...allowing ourselves to be inspired, motivated and challenged by others, but also giving ourselves permission to shift course, to forge a new path in unexpected and uncertain directions. 

I'm still working to find that balance and although I have more questions than answers, I'm pretty sure it's not something that can be encapsulated in a New Year's resolution or accomplished within the timespan of the year. So I'm giving myself (and others) permission to take their time, to make mistakes, to risk disappointment and even failure. Because some of my most incredible and rewarding opportunities have come to me "by mistake". 

So, here's to more questions than answers, to the journey ahead, to a year filled with possibility and potential... 

Happy New Year. :)

Problems Solvers & Dreamers

Most school administrators by nature are "problem solvers". On a daily basis, we navigate any number of "problems", ranging from the the predictable, to the extreme. And rather than simply being reactive, we do our best to look ahead, to use our judgement and experience to proactively anticipate and respond to possible challenges or obstacles that might otherwise negatively impact our school communities. It's a necessary and valuable skill set. But at the same time, it's a mindset that's difficult to shake at times.

This past week, I had an opportunity to meet with colleagues to engage in some "big picture" conversations, exploring what the future of education might look like for our students- everything from a redesigned curriculum, to reimagining the physical and digital spaces in which that learning will occur. 

But as we engaged in this dialogue, a pattern began to emerge. One person would propose an idea, and then another would systematically list the possible obstacles and challenges. We struggled to shake that deficit based mindset. And really, it's not surprising, because to some extent this is what we're required to do on a daily basis... We're expected to anticipate and respond to challenges. We are the "problem solvers". But as my friend, principal Rob Laing reminded us, we're also the "blue sky" people, the dreamers. 

I'm not suggesting that we spend our days with our heads in the clouds, oblivious to the very real challenges that impact our school communities. Sometimes our students need to us to be the "problem solvers".

But sometimes they just need us to DREAM BIG...